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Saturday, October 23rd, 2010
4:36 am - Stupid brain.
No amount of staying up Saturday morning worrying about Monday will make Monday any better. Need my brain to shut up and let me deal with it tomorrow...

current mood: tired

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Monday, May 31st, 2010
4:39 am
I can't sleep because my feet are dirty. Is that unusual?

Easily fixed, and I'm back to the basic just not wanting to sleep. Eventually my body will muster up its veto power.

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Wednesday, December 16th, 2009
1:32 am - Best way to motivate me?
Telling me that my goal is unaccomplishable (by me).

I really kind of resent that, and come to badly want to prove them wrong.

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Tuesday, December 15th, 2009
2:07 pm
I really need the ability to expand/collapse paragraphs in some word processing software, and doesn't currently have MS Word at my disposal. Is there anything free out there that can do it?

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Tuesday, July 14th, 2009
1:04 am
For a while I've been somewhat aware of some of my issues. I lumped a bunch of them broadly under "control issues"; that I didn't know how to relax, be spontaneous, stop thinking so much about everything and just talk more.

Now, I've recently started looking specifically for ways to try and attack this issue, and I know those issues are present and relevant; being completely uncontrolled and powerless is one of the few things that specifically scares me. But I've started to realize that some of my issues that I'm affixing to that problem have another origin entirely.

I am completely embarrassed to make any kind of self-expression. Singing, dancing, letting others read my writing, see anything I draw, reacting to things with relevant and noticeable enthusiasm... to the point where I even feel embarrassed dancing in a locked, windowless room. I get terribly anxious about any kind of criticism of my expressions, I am preoccupied with expecting unilaterally negative responses to any of it, and so cut it off, hide it, and only bring it out halfway when I can shroud it in antipathy, to establish for myself disregard for the opinions of others by devaluing to myself as extremely as I can establish anyone who might criticize me. I suspect this goes all the way back to being a shy oblivious sheltered elementary schooler; with no friends, regularly made fun of, and utterly unable to understand the jokes at my expense. And so now I refrain from giving strangers anything I could care about which I could potentially be made fun of for. I hide most of myself from any kind of group, automatically, subconsciously.

I think this is going to be somewhat more complicated to do something about than the control issues.

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Tuesday, June 16th, 2009
7:57 pm - American Gods
I really like this quote.Collapse )

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Thursday, May 21st, 2009
6:21 pm - Scientific study...
http://www.deanradin.com/papers/love_study_2008.pdf

Heard about this on NPR. Statistically significant, and has been reproduced.

tl;dr, under at least some conditions, you can affect people in measurable ways just by thinking about them.

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Friday, May 1st, 2009
3:43 pm
YAY. I have health insurance, at least for now, and will have allergy meds, so I will be able to breathe this month! I was concerned for a bit there...

current mood: relieved

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Friday, February 6th, 2009
12:05 am - Poem meme
When you see this, post your favorite poem in your journal.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

-Lewis Carroll

Chosen because I don't know a hell of a lot of poetry, but have yet to care to memorize any other. Course, I haven't actually memorized this, but I one point I cared to, which still puts it in the lead.

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Friday, January 16th, 2009
11:58 am - Amusing dreams
I'm losing memory of it quickly, but I was trying to assassinate the king, or something, and I, and the two people working with me failed, so then we were trying to catch and stop the other person in the palace trying to assassinate the king, so we could prevent them from being caught now that we'd screwed up and tipped off the guards.

Random bits include the fact that apparently I'd met the other assassin at Lafeyette for some reason, I cast Dimension Door from a scroll to escape (whereupon time was frozen until I ran through the whole palace to the place where I'd targeted the spell, and resumed when I arrived), and Obama made a random cameo appearance, standing on the porch of the palace while I was running by.

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Friday, December 26th, 2008
4:03 pm - Christmas presents
List of swagCollapse )

Plus, birthday presents soon, since by birthday's on the 2nd, and I'll be going home before then.

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Sunday, November 23rd, 2008
2:30 am - D&D Thing
A snippet of cosmology from my D&D campaign, that will be relayed in the words of a partially deceased Eladrin warlock, sometime in the next few weeks...

Cut to indulge your apathy.Collapse )

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Tuesday, October 14th, 2008
2:23 pm - Quiz time
I AM
75%
BUMBLEBEE
Take the Transformers Quiz

The way the quiz was set up, I doubt very many people would come out as decepticons...

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Friday, August 29th, 2008
8:03 am - Oh bizarre dreams
So, there was a dead transformer that I was trying to get away with, so I stole a fire department pickup and put it in the back; then I crashed it in a lake. The water killed my cell phone, so I was stuck with the driver of the pick-up's but for some reason it couldn't call, and could only text in tic-tac-toe and etch-a-sketch. Somehow I walked from there to a house where Beth's parents lived, though it wasn't their house, and they helped me. I went out to check on the wreck and found my wallet and laptop by the side of the road; my laptop was fine, and my wallet still had cash in it, but was missing my driver's license and credit/debit cards.

wtf.

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Wednesday, July 30th, 2008
8:57 pm
Zombie Music Meme
Stolen from vayhedruvon

1. Take out your iPod, or your mp3 playing device. Put it on shuffle play.

2. You have to decide if each song is a positive one in terms of survival (songs like Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" or anything that directly references survival, escape or something like that counts double, even something by Survivor, but I reserve the right to laugh at you), or a negative one in terms of survival (Songs by the Zombies, White Zombie, Rob Zombie, about zombies or death or whatnot count double); if you really can't judge the song, just take it as a pass and it does nothing either way for your chances for survival—remember this is entirely up to you to judge.

3. Keep going until you get five songs one way or the other. Five surviving songs means you lived. Five not-surviving songs means you food.

Zombie attackCollapse )

Well, I guess that settles it. Zombies 5, me 2, I get eaten.

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Monday, July 14th, 2008
1:17 am - Memes
MoviesCollapse )
Attachment Style MemeCollapse )

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Wednesday, May 28th, 2008
12:17 am - Cuteness
Squee! Icon made for me by irreverentangel from the end of this (which was sent to me by aikonamika)

current mood: amused

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Thursday, April 17th, 2008
9:11 pm

My Personality
Neuroticism
48
Extraversion
8
Openness to Experience
78
Agreeableness
73
Conscientiousness
15
You are a calm person who is considered almost fearless by some, however you tend to lack energy and have difficult initiating activities. You tend not to talk much and prefer to let others control the activities of groups. You are reasonably interested in the arts but are not totally absorbed by them. you are mostly a compassionate person, however you prefer to make objective judgments when possible. You have a strong sense of duty and obligation, and feel a moral obligation to do the right thing.

Take a Personality Test now or view the full Personality Report.


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9:01 am - Housing
I've been a doing first round of seriously looking for housing for next year... I really don't want to stay in Eatontown, cause while the commute is quite good, the location isn't. And my brother doesn't make a very good roommate for me.

I found a couple of okay options so far...Collapse )

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Saturday, February 16th, 2008
2:19 pm - You know...
Its my 1 year anniversary. And I've pretty much been spending it curled up naked watching Firefly.

Probably not a bad sign.

current mood: amused

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